Fail of the Week: Breaking Dawn, Breaking Bad

K.Stew, oh, K.Stew. What are we to do with you? It’s like you put on lingerie added a see-through skirt and call it a dress. It’s like a game of let’s pretend to be naked on the red carpet without being naked. But K.Stew, I did not want to play peek-a-boo with your lady bits.

Bonus Bad: Julianne Hough, what is this bondage for your boobs?! Even your hair isn’t on board with this plan. Continue reading

Tulle, lace and the end of the world

Lately, I’ve of seen a couple of depressing movies that featured weddings. Which would be sad if the fashion wasn’t so awesome.

I went to see Breaking Dawn (Don’t judge. It’s one of the most cracked out novels I’ve ever read, like a fried twinkie, a soap opera and sequins all rolled into one. Seeing that on screen provided for lots of giggles.) The one thing that is supremely awesome is the fashion. Whoever is the stylist on that film definitely earned his or her money. The dress was made by Caroline Herrera, and Alfred Angelo produced a replica that hit stores just after the movie premiered.

So here’s what to wear if you’re going to marry your undead fiancé who happens to want your blood:

And check out these shoes. Shiny!

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I Tried Very Hard To Understand Breaking Dawn, Part 1

I am not a Twilight fan.

I read the first two books back-to-back a few summers ago in a fit of reading frenzy—as Erin wrote a few days ago, these books are literary crack. It’s very hard to put them down. Except I got to the third one, read the first chapter, and just couldn’t handle the angst any more. I quit cold turkey.

At some point after the first movie came out on DVD, I ended up seeing that one. It was doofy, for lack of a better word. I did really like the house the Cullen family lives in, though. I want to live in a glass-and-pine house in the forest.

And tonight I went to see Breaking Dawn: Part 1, the penultimate movie. I went to see it partially because I had spent all weekend working and wanted to zone out for a while, and partially out of curiosity. People describe this thing as “bonkers,”  “absorbing, if somewhat slow-paced” AND “ridiculously appealing.”

Well, shoot. Sign me up.

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Steal the Look

So if you’ve been living under a rock, then you probably know nothing about Twilight. The franchise drives millions of girls wild, probably because it’s a Victorian gothic romance wrapped in the trappings of a cheesy horror movie. Supposedly, Stephanie Meyers named Edward Cullen after Edward Rochester (even though we all know Mr. Rochester could totally take Edward Cullen in a fight). If you don’t know how badass the Brontës were, check out this video:

These are the kind of action figures I’d totally want as a kid.

But I digress. Back to sparkly vampires. They’re currently filming Breaking Dawn, and pictures have been released. And the dress Kristen Stewart is sporting? I wants one. It’s perfect for a honeymoon with your vampire husband, or you know, a fashionable soiree downtown. The cut and structure are simple and flattering for almost any shape. The belt ties together nicely with the shoes—girl, or rather the costume designer, knows how to accessorize.

Unfortunately, it’s vintage. But my super Internet sleuthing skills have turned up knockoffs.

And those fantastic accessories I was talking about? The belt’s Prada and pumps are MICHAEL Michael Kors.

$355. For realz.

ON SALE AT ZAPPOS for $98. Boom.

How I’m supposed to believe that some 18-year-old girl is supposed to afford these things, I’ll never know. But if I’m supposed to believe that vampires sparkle, then I’m sure I can get over a teenager spending hundreds of dollars on a one-of-a-kind outfit. Either way, a nice sheath dress is just the way to round out my closet.

–By Lindsay Ray