I Tried Very Hard To Understand Breaking Dawn, Part 1

I am not a Twilight fan.

I read the first two books back-to-back a few summers ago in a fit of reading frenzy—as Erin wrote a few days ago, these books are literary crack. It’s very hard to put them down. Except I got to the third one, read the first chapter, and just couldn’t handle the angst any more. I quit cold turkey.

At some point after the first movie came out on DVD, I ended up seeing that one. It was doofy, for lack of a better word. I did really like the house the Cullen family lives in, though. I want to live in a glass-and-pine house in the forest.

And tonight I went to see Breaking Dawn: Part 1, the penultimate movie. I went to see it partially because I had spent all weekend working and wanted to zone out for a while, and partially out of curiosity. People describe this thing as “bonkers,”  “absorbing, if somewhat slow-paced” AND “ridiculously appealing.”

Well, shoot. Sign me up.

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Wins and Fails of the Week: MTV Movie Awards edition

OK, so in all honesty, I’m going to admit upfront that I didn’t watch the show. I might’ve watched due to the temptation of the new Harry Potter trailer, but I knew I could just see that online (one word—glorious) and couldn’t deal with the self congratulation and fake golden popcorn. But I couldn’t help taking a peek at the fashion as it always promises to be over-the-top at one of Hollywood’s more laid back events, and someone mentioned La Meester looked like a disco ball.

FTW!

Kristen Stewart, she of the lip biting and mumbly awkwardness, totally rocked a red mini. Usually she looks like she cannot wait to get out of her fancy clothes and into lounge wear, but even she seemed to know she looked hot. Plus, it’s got stars and sequins and safety pins, you guys! It looks like the most awesome bedazzled, homemade party dress ever.

And the lovely Emma Watson looked sophisticated in a white Marchesa. (Even if her hair resembled an odd mullet, but the important thing is her hair is growing out!) I don’t even mind the weird fringed shoulder pads (pretty sure those are necessary to make it MTV-worthy). But her makeup was flawless. She looked all glowy and youthful. Just what an actress should look like in anticipation of the premiere of her HUGE blockbuster summer hit.

OK, so I don’t care if she is wearing a black lace doily with fringe. (Seriously, what is with all the fringe? I refuse to believe it’s in fashion.) But most importantly, Emma Stone is a redhead again!! I’m so happy that the queen of the sassy comeback has restored her russet locks. (Yes, I am getting poetic about hair.)

Epic Fail

I think Leighton was shooting for avant garde/art deco. But girlfriend, you look like a party decoration. Or an intricately smashed mirror.

Nicki Minaj went in for bondage wear and brass knuckles. Which, you know, not surprising. What is surprising is that her hair isn’t more spiced up. Almost subdued for her. Disappointment, Nicki, disappointment.

Cameron Diaz wore a romper (much too old) and was totally shown up by a much younger starlet (Elle Fanning, looking cute and age-appropriate).

Brooklyn Decker wore a gold lamé-looking sack. Which if I was going to wear a sack, I guess I’d pick something like gold lame instead of burlap, so snaps for you there, Brooky.

And the pièce de résistance? A paisley jumpsuit worn by Jessica Szohr. Oh Jessica, if you thought leaving the bangles and ratty extensions at home would make us forget that you’re Vanessa, Dan’s Brooklyn-bred BFF on Gossip Girl, you are sorely mistaken. Nothing says classic Vanessa fashion disaster quite like flowing paisley.

Also, where are your feet, woman?

–By Lindsay Ray