How to be glamorously ill

You can do better than this!

It’s December, darlings, which means we’re all going to succumb to the virus known as the common cold at some point in the near future (or, if you happen to be me, now). Here’s some tips to keep your style quotient up while your immune response is kicking some viral booty.

DO have an Airborne cocktail.

Drop one Airborne, or other brand of immune system support fizzy drink, tablet into five ounces of water (I like the orange flavor). Wait until tablet dissolves. Top off glass with vodka. Consume as many as needed to make you feel better, but not so many as to ensure a non-illness related headache the next morning. Enjoy!

DON’T loll around in your grungy-ass sweats:

Yes, it feels good to be in your most worn-in loungewear, but it’s really quite counterproductive. At the very least, put on nice yoga pants, a cozy sweater and a fabulous statement necklace.

DO shower.

The steam is excellent for any congestion, and everything seems happier and shinier with clean hair and nice-smelling skin.

DO take a post-shower nap.

Every damn day. Showering is exhausting. And the heat is so relaxing… Zzzzzzzzz.

DO put on make-up and style your hair.

If you have to be physically miserable, why look like it? And a sick day is a great time for a super-sparkly manicure.

DON’T tell everyone you meet all about every one of your symptoms.

“Oh, I just feel a little under the weather” is all they need to know.

DON’T be ashamed of your milkshake cravings.

They’re great for soothing sore throats, and McDonalds has Eggnog milkshakes now for  Christmas (nom!). If you’re sick, you deserve a little self-indulgence.

DO have your favorite hot tea on hand.

Yep. I dropped $10.95 on a tin of tea at Barnes and Noble this week. It’s delicious. I don’t care how decadent $10.95 for a tin of tea is on a shopgirl’s salary. Whatever. It makes me feel better.

DO re-read your favorite novel.

If you’re going to be sitting on the couch all day anyways, why not?

DO embrace the Kathleen Turner voice.

So what if I really sound like I smoked every cigarette ever produced my Phillip Morris in the last 24 hours? I much prefer to say I sound like a mega-movie star with a mega-sexy voice.

–By Erin K. O’Neill

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