Suck it, skinny jeans

That’s right. I said it. You can take your ass-intolerant, thigh-hating, vagina-muzzling self and get OUTTA my house.

Says the sad vag: Why do you torture me so? (PS: Denim on denim? F.......M.....L......)

You’re on your way out of popular favor, my friend, and I no longer have any need for the likes of you. Signs are all over the stores: “not too skinny jeans,” “bootcut is back!”

I have to say, despite all your hype, this relationship has been disappointing from the very start. And as for your friends jeggings and leggings, I still have nothing to say to either of them. I hope you’re all very happy together. I am going to find a pair of REAL pants who love me for who I am. I deserve it. Every woman deserves so much better than you.

Oh hai, I'm an actual person in an ACTUAL PAIR OF PANTS. (J.Crew)

And I am another model person wearing le "barely boot" from Express.

And oh look! I'm another person wearing just-in-for-fall bootcut jeans from William Rast!

–By Tara Cavanaugh

3 thoughts on “Suck it, skinny jeans

  1. Pingback: Suck it, skinny jeans (via FemThreads) | sallyann16

  2. “Ode to the Blue Jeans”

    For my body type, straight cut jeans w/ some stretch are really the best cut. But, I love how skinnies, jeggings, and leggings give me an opportunity to show off my favorite boots.

    However, I do relate to your pains… Why cant both skinnies and regular blue jeans co-exist? :)

    • Girl, if your body type really benefits from straight or skinny jeans, then more power to ya! (And: we’re jealous.) We do hope that skinny and regular-cut blue jeans can coexist peacefully, since we’re seeing that more in the stores this fall, thank ya Jesus. We think it’s important to look good and feel good… whether you do it in skinny jeans or boot cut, whatever works for you. :)

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