It’s time to take a dump.
No, not that kind of dump. I’m talking about a cathartic cleansing of the baggage you carry around with you. Literally.
Have you looked in your purse lately? I mean, do even know what’s in there? Lots of us ladies have tons of purses. And thanks to the big shoulder bag trend, we have really big purses with lots of pockets. They’re so big, and so full of stuff, that when it comes time to find our wallet or our singing cell phone we find ourselves on a deep ocean fishing expedition.
So if Hallmark can make up a useless holiday like Sweetest Day, I think I can make up a totally useful holiday like Take a Dump Day. It’s time to toss all of those stale lip glosses and gum wrappers. It’s time to downsize your emergency stash of tampons in each purse (you probably don’t need two dozen extra; where do you think you’re going, a safari?). Pens that have fallen apart, receipts, coupons you never got around to using: it’s time to let it go.
Who knows? You may even stumble across something useful. But probably not. I can guarantee, however, that you will feel lighter. Breezier. Because you just lost a pound of useless junk off of your shoulder. And because you’ll actually be able to find your cell phone now.